Heart of Living
clyde eating himself

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July 02, 2015, 07:04 AM
kim
clyde eating himself
My cat clyde constantly chews at his lower belly (looks more like 2nd chakra region). It sparks something very violent in me and I want to break out in a blind rage and mangle and kill him horribly. I don't. But it hurts not to. A crazy animal tries to tear out of the cage inside myself when I don't. This is a real problem, feels like teetering on the edge of insanity, his skin is raw and hairless. When I am around other animals (like my friend's pets) and form any kind of a bond, they begin to chew themselves too).
I seek guidance.
I have heart centered in this, with clyde, often times although it is challenging to heart center when he is right next to me chewing- the sound is horrific.
My sense is that clyde is reflecting for me, this deep, primal feminine, she needs an outlet!!
I feel sometimes it is dark, dank, stuck energy that I am unable to move. and although sometimes I can move it, it comes back over and over. lot of rage and violence here.
not much place in the world for this to express itself in the previous ways i have been used to expressing it, i.e. unabashed VIOLENCE, RAGE.
I will keep heart centering and working with it, looking for ways to express it, whether it will come through dance, writing, art, violence, physical exercise, tai chi, kung fu, sword dancing, etc.
I am beginning to see now and have an appreciation for those parts of self that were/are resistant to opening, as they served, to protect me, from those parts of self that are very dangerous and require a level of "maturity"(for lack of a better word) to engage.
thank you for this forum as an avenue of expression.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: kim,