Hi all, I'm looking for guidance, thoughts or opinions from anyone on intimate relationship without sex. This has been a topic for Kevin and I for a long time. Although the sex is amazing between us and my body is constantly yearning for Kevin, my heart has continually brought up the topic of exploring our relationship without Sex. In circle I spoke about wanting to see Kevin's masculine without sex but I'm curious of how this is even possible? I have this feeling of wanting to know if our relationship can be just as passionate and intimate without sex. Kevin and I have disagreed on this issue many times. I want to explore our relationship without sex and he feels that sex is a piece of the relationship which is as necessary as any other piece of the relationship such as communication and trust.
I'm stuck between my body wanting sex, my heart wanting to explore relationship without sex and Kevin's opinion of its necessity....your thoughts would be greatly appreciated and helpful in opening me to understand why this continues to come up for me.
Obviously there is no right way to be in relationship. And there is nothing wrong when one is in relationship without sex.
It is often used in sexual therapy to abstain from sex for purposes of heightening the Libido for a deeper dive into sexuality.
Also we are all aware of athletes who abstain from sex, (or at least are guided by coaches), to heighten energy for the competition.
So there are many ways in which one can explore intimacy without sexuality.
Also, in this past two years, it has become more to my attention the way in which aging shifts the libido. And health issues shift libido.
This in my experience comes with a deepening of the relationship throughout the years, a bond of deeper and deeper awareness of one another is forged through the years. So as we begin to confront the dismemberment that can occur with age or disease. And there is a bonding that has been established. So those are some awareness that come to mind.
Then there is that piece of consciousness, that knows "organically" that we are "made" to couple..to engage sexually. That we are designed to "fit" ourselves together.
Now when you say your "heart" is wanting to explore a relationship without sex, I would invite a deeper exploration into what is being asked? Through the heart I can and have seen those that are being called into a different service in relationship than sexuality.
So there are so many possibilities it would be impossible to explore all of them.
Often there is something going on in the internal world that requires the libido and therefore sexuality is called to go "underground" if you will and be on hold for a time.
The real question that keeps coming to me is what exactly is the "heart" asking?
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